No one ever thinks upon learning that they are expecting that they will never see their child born. They never fathom the possibility of not holding their bundle of joy in their arms one day. February 13, 2020 will always be a crushing day in my life. It is the day we lost our unborn child, Shiloh Meadows.
In the minutes and hours after we lost our child, and even now as I write, I have struggled with the question “why?” “Why us?” “Why today?” “Why must we experience this pain?” So many more “why” and “what” questions could be asked. Many of these questions now fill the pages of my soul. I know that I may never get any answers to these questions. And, I know someone with a different outlook or opinion may think these are justifiable grounds for walking away from Christianity. But, I still believe.
I still believe despite this devastation that ravages my soul. I still believe even though I know that no matter what the rest of my life holds, there will always be a Shiloh-sized hole in my heart. I still believe and here is why: the evidence for Christianity far outweighs this unexplained tragedy that my wife and I have experienced.
First, I still believe the evidence for the existence of God, via the kalam cosmological argument is sound; the universe began to exist and therefore it must have a cause that transcends time, space, and matter. Second, I believe the historical case for the resurrection is true. If Christianity is true, death has no final sting. The grief of earthly loss stings, but death ultimately has no power.
I don’t believe these things merely because Shiloh is gone and I desperately want to believe them. I believe them because they are true. So, I’ll grieve this earthly loss until I’m old and gray. But, since Christianity is true, then the saying is trustworthy, Shiloh cannot come to me, but I can go to Shiloh. I long for that heavenly meeting!
I only speak for myself when I say my apologetics training has helped me grieve the loss of an unborn child — something I never dreamed I would experience. Without this training, I don’t know where I would be today.
P.S. Death, You’ve Lost.